I am not a simple man.

I have the most insane dreams lately.

This weekend, after the crazy party in Manteca,
my mind was all about this crazy surgery man who wanted to experiment on the entire human race, starting with babies. His business cards were diapers with his information stamped onto the front where the baby images would have been. I then escaped him, via pickup truck and changing-person accompaniment...through the desert. We landed ourselves into a hostel type place where everyone was performing magic, and I was in on the secrets to how a broom could be stood up, upside down. I knew all of it, but apparently those people were crazy too, and I escaped again....finding myself house-sitting at my parents, and walking in on my sister telling me that everyone was dying on the floor. A woman had been hugged too tight and was bleeding from every pore in her body, and a man somehow chopped off his finger. And the 911 dispatch thought I was telling a joke when I called in.

Last night, I dreamt that I went into a store to get a haircut, but the man taking money also was an aspiring magician....he gave me a deal on the cut if I watched his trick. So I did, and the fucker took off without giving me my haircut. Then there was an elaborate chase between myself and the neighboring stores, because they were pissed at him too. There were clues in all tiles, numbers, and the magic trick that he did. Which, by the way, sucked my dick. He was a joke. But apparently, the point in all of this, was that he was down to take over the world and thought I would never find him in a secret underground labyrinth...filled with tractors and other machinery. Weird.

Which theory should I go with on this one? I am not exactly thrilled at these dreams. Oy.