The Pursuit of Happyness

Lately, I have felt so out of balance.

As if I could not do the things I wanted because there were too many things that I HAD to do. But the thing is, these "have to-s" are all things that are paving my way into the future. I am getting somewhere, and in order to be successful, I have to trek on.

Something that I have allowed to get in my way is fear.

The fear to tackle the things that I have really wanted to pursue. I attempted in spurts, but have lost focus because, at times, life got too intense.

So here is to another new beginning.

I am moving away from an area that depresses me, entirely.

I am getting rid of old clothes that I said I would for so long.

A new home means settling in the way that I need to.

A craft nook.

An art display on the walls, like I have always wanted.

...but have always been afraid to do because I just move too much.

Because life has never been predictable to me.

And though I have fallen into unpredictability, I really do find comfort in knowing certainty about some things.

So I am going to be certain to keep my goals in mind, write them down, display them in ways that will keep me on the life path that I wish for.

I want to be who I am trying to be.

I always thought that it would just be simple to be who it is one aspires to be- just act that way, right?

But I am discovering that it takes far more.

In my case,

therapy.

In so many ways.

It takes art. It takes volunteer work.

It takes extremely good time management.

It takes saving up.

It takes looking to the future in ways that I have been afraid to do.

It takes perseverance.

And it takes an unshakable mind.

I have faltered in having faith in myself,

in love for myself,

and in making my life more than just a day full of work and school.

Everything is relevant,

and everything is folding upon itself

to create something magical.

The first step is to remember to tackle one thing at a time.

SO I wrote these things down to remind myself that I am capable of letting go of fear and having the courage to be something great and even more full of love.